Posts tagged ‘40’

November 30, 2011

On The Eve of 40

I started this post a couple of weeks ago.  In fact, at the time, it was titled “Age is Just a Number”.

At that point I had a pretty good attitude about my upcoming birthday.  I thought 40 was no big deal.  Age is all in our mind.  If you think of yourself as old, well, then you are old.  But, if you think of yourself as a healthy, happy person then that’s who you are and the number on your driver’s license is just a number.

Now, I’m not so sure.  The closer “the big day” has come, the more “off” I feel.  At first I wasn’t sure why I started feeling this way, but then I realized that there’s so much hype about turning 40 that I started doubting my “no big deal” attitude.  A lot of my friends and classmates are turning 40 this year.  Some already have, some in a few months.  They’re having big parties, going all out, traveling to Vegas, to Mexico.  I’m…. not.

The other day my son asked, “Mom, what do you really, really that someone else has?”.  What he was asking was, what do I want for my birthday?  My answer was, “I don’t know, honey.  I really don’t want what someone else has. I’m pretty happy with what I have.”  This was clearly a disappointment for my son, but what I didn’t say was “I have no clue!” and honestly, this kind of got to me.  How did this happen?  How did I get to the point of not really having dreams of going anywhere or doing anything big?  I’ve always had dreams, especially of travel.  What I’m thinking now is that I’m just overwhelmed.  I mean, if 40 is the time to celebrate, then that means it has to be perfect.  It has to be something big.  It has to be something memorable, otherwise I’ll have missed my opportunity, right?

Maybe.  I don’t know how to celebrate being 40. I even “Googled” how to celebrate a 40th birthday. (Yes, pathetic, I know!)  Most say a big party.  I had a party at 30, so it seems kind of silly to have one at 40.  Some say buy an expensive car, fly your friends somewhere and party like the 80s.  (Sorry everyone – no car, no flights, no big hair, no rock stars.)  Then I saw something that fits me.  One person said that you’re 40 all year. No way.  This was like an epiphany!  How did I not think of this?!?

Their goal was health, getting in shape, living healthier. But here’s the key.  Don’t expect it to change overnight because after-all, it took 40 years to get here, so you should give yourself the full year to work with it. I love that! So that’s my plan.  I’m going to be 40 all year, not just tomorrow. I too will be focusing on getting back into shape and living a healthier life, but I’m also going to give myself permission to celebrate being 40 whenever it strikes me.  Anyone want to join me?

So tonight, on this eve of 40…. Crap! I just looked at the clock.  It’s here!

Happy Birthday to me… Happy Birthday to me…