On The Eve of 40

I started this post a couple of weeks ago.  In fact, at the time, it was titled “Age is Just a Number”.

At that point I had a pretty good attitude about my upcoming birthday.  I thought 40 was no big deal.  Age is all in our mind.  If you think of yourself as old, well, then you are old.  But, if you think of yourself as a healthy, happy person then that’s who you are and the number on your driver’s license is just a number.

Now, I’m not so sure.  The closer “the big day” has come, the more “off” I feel.  At first I wasn’t sure why I started feeling this way, but then I realized that there’s so much hype about turning 40 that I started doubting my “no big deal” attitude.  A lot of my friends and classmates are turning 40 this year.  Some already have, some in a few months.  They’re having big parties, going all out, traveling to Vegas, to Mexico.  I’m…. not.

The other day my son asked, “Mom, what do you really, really that someone else has?”.  What he was asking was, what do I want for my birthday?  My answer was, “I don’t know, honey.  I really don’t want what someone else has. I’m pretty happy with what I have.”  This was clearly a disappointment for my son, but what I didn’t say was “I have no clue!” and honestly, this kind of got to me.  How did this happen?  How did I get to the point of not really having dreams of going anywhere or doing anything big?  I’ve always had dreams, especially of travel.  What I’m thinking now is that I’m just overwhelmed.  I mean, if 40 is the time to celebrate, then that means it has to be perfect.  It has to be something big.  It has to be something memorable, otherwise I’ll have missed my opportunity, right?

Maybe.  I don’t know how to celebrate being 40. I even “Googled” how to celebrate a 40th birthday. (Yes, pathetic, I know!)  Most say a big party.  I had a party at 30, so it seems kind of silly to have one at 40.  Some say buy an expensive car, fly your friends somewhere and party like the 80s.  (Sorry everyone – no car, no flights, no big hair, no rock stars.)  Then I saw something that fits me.  One person said that you’re 40 all year. No way.  This was like an epiphany!  How did I not think of this?!?

Their goal was health, getting in shape, living healthier. But here’s the key.  Don’t expect it to change overnight because after-all, it took 40 years to get here, so you should give yourself the full year to work with it. I love that! So that’s my plan.  I’m going to be 40 all year, not just tomorrow. I too will be focusing on getting back into shape and living a healthier life, but I’m also going to give myself permission to celebrate being 40 whenever it strikes me.  Anyone want to join me?

So tonight, on this eve of 40…. Crap! I just looked at the clock.  It’s here!

Happy Birthday to me… Happy Birthday to me…

Kate

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4 Comments to “On The Eve of 40”

  1. Yes, Happy Birthday to you, Kate. I figure you’ve given ME a gift every time you’ve blogged. I admit it: when you “lose” — this doesn’t go right, that doesn’t go right, you turn (gasp!) 40 — I win, because when you tussle with Real Life, you blog. At 40 I had a big party. Biggest outward event was communal shaving of my beard of 19 years. Biggest internal event was Step #001 toward owning up to Elder. From pushing a quarter century down the road from you, I can confidently report, yes, Elder does start that early. Depressing, no. Sobering, yes. Shine, Kate. Shine!

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  2. Happy Beautiful Birthday Katie! You are very beautiful…inside and out, and that my dear is WAY more important than what the calendar says!!! I am handing you the torch, kid. My husband’s words of wisdom to me this am…you are not 40 anymore!!! Enjoy it, celebrate it and embrace it!!! It looks good on you!!! And not everyone flies somewhere or throws a big bash…I watched with my children, our neighborhood squirrel (whom we had nicknamed Stumpy), gives us a pole dance on our front light…PRECIOUS!!! You cannot even write that stuff!!!

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  3. I think you can celebrate 40 with being greatful for what you have and what you have accomplished. It doesn’t always mean a big party it can just be a nice day with family and/or a few friends. Congratulations on joining the 40 club! I’ve been in it for a few months now and it’s not all that bad:)

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  4. Happy Birthday Honey!

    You get better every year. I am always excited to see what you are going to be up to next. Holy Cow it was not long ago that you were just coming into the world – That was really exciting!! – being a great baby and little girl — Telling me that picking up toys was what mom’s and dad’s do — not kids. 🙂 Riding around in a seven-up box – was that ever fun…

    I just talked to Brian last night. There is the time that he fixed your sandle strap on the front steps on Blaisdell. You on you Big Wheel was cool… you burned the front tire out of it in a few months. High School, Dance, traveling around Europe – teaching Germans’ english! graduating from the U, Getting Married , being a wife and partner, graduating from landscape design, designing beautiful gardens, a nice deck for us, having a cool son so i could be a grandfather, (its all about me) being a mom, teaching Alex to be a fun and respectful young dude, building your home in Richfield with gardens and sheds, and a back yard others can only dream about, growing food and flowers…. caring for little four legged animals even when you did not feel well, getting over whatever it was and ramping up on energy… you are just getting your energy back now so as I said, i am excited to see what you will make happen next – and if you did nothing more you are still the best, most wonderful daughter a dad could ever wish for!
    Happy Birthday Honey!! , Love, Dad

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