Archive for ‘Mindful Living’

December 14, 2011

The quest to find my inner spark

When faced with decisions in life, no matter how big or how small, it’s sometimes hard to keep perspective on what I really think.  Sometimes there is so much noise, so many incoming messages and thoughts running through my mind that impact my decisions that at the end of the day, I’m not sure whether it was really me that made the decision or the influence of those around me.

Sometimes I think too long and too hard, I analyze too much before putting things into motion.  Sometimes I’m paralyzed by the unknown and I leave myself stuck in the same spot, afraid to move forward, afraid to change lanes, constantly looking in the review mirror at where I’ve been to try to figure out how I got to where I am now.  I can remain in that paralyzed mode for hours, days, weeks, even years before doing something.

It’s that stuck spot that I don’t like.  It’s like I have a strap tethered to each shoulder, around my hips, around my ankles preventing me from moving forward no matter how hard I pull.  I’m honestly not sure though whether this is just fear of the unknown or if it’s a lack of trusting in myself, trusting my judgement, trusting that I’ll make the “right” decision.  The thing is, I wasn’t always this way, I wasn’t always this way.  I used to make a decision and go for it, I would figure out the details on the fly.  I didn’t stop long enough to analyze it to death, and you know what?  It always worked out.  When I look back on where I’ve been, I can’t think of any decisions I’ve made that have truly been bad decisions.  Each choice, each movement I made brought me to the next, which eventually brought me to where I am today.

Lately I’ve been trying to figure out when it all started.  When did I stop trusting in myself?  When did I start doubting my capabilities?  Where did these messages come from and why the hell do I believe them?  (Here I go thinking again, right?)  What I’m trying to figure out is where this “stuff” came from so I can fix it and get myself back in motion.

It sounds so cliché, but right now I’m on the quest to find me.  The true me.  The girl whose dreams kept her moving forward, the girl who trusted in herself and did things because it felt right or she thought it was the right thing to do.  I’m trying to find the inner spark, re-light that flame, re-energize the spirit, the fire within me that gives me the drive, the confidence and the strength to chase my dreams without fear.

I tell my son quite frequently that it’s okay to make mistakes, it’s okay to fall down, it’s what you do afterward that matters. You need to pick yourself up, look at what happened and figure out a way to do it differently, then try again.  It’s time for me to listen to my own advice.  To teach by example.

Do people change?  Sure.  But I think deep down inside regardless of the changes that have taken place over time, we’re all that young person with an invincible spirit.  And I’ll tell you what, she’s still in there.  I can feel her.  And she’s trying damned hard to get out, to break the shell that’s been holding her back.  Friends have seen her, family has seen her.   Every once in a while I see her. And when I do its amazing.  It’s like meeting an old friend you haven’t seen in years.  It’s like looking in a mirror that can’t see age. But she’s not out yet, not all the way.  She’s not quite ready.  She’s telling me I’m not ready.  She said I still have some work to do.  And I do.  I know I do. But I also know that when the time is right, she’ll emerge.  And I can’t wait to hug her, hold her hand, talk to her, get to know her again.  And as I do, take off on new adventures and go wherever our path may lead us.

Kate

November 27, 2011

Still Thankful

I just wouldn’t feel right letting Thanksgiving go by without writing.

I had actually planned on writing prior to Thanksgiving Day, but that just wasn’t meant to be.  A few days before Thanksgiving I came down with the flu, you know, the full-blown body aches, fever, struggle to get out of bed flu.  Actually though, I was blessed.  It wasn’t the stomach flu.  And for that I was very, very thankful!

Nonetheless, I didn’t want the holiday to go by unacknowledged.  With all the craziness of the Christmas buying season starting as far back as October, pausing just long enough for all of us to take a few bites of turkey and a piece of pumpkin pie and then start right up again, I think it’s really important to stop, take a breath and look around at what really matters. Our health matters, our family and friends matter, having a roof over our head and food on the table matters, being loved matters.

There are so many negative things that we could focus on in the world right now that could be better, but it’s so important to take some time, pause and reflect on what’s going right.  What are we thankful for?

This year my health is something I’m incredibly thankful for.  You know that saying “you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone”? I’m so grateful to have my health back.  I know I’ve mentioned it before, but the past couple of years were scary.  What’s weird is that when the fevers ended at the end of May and my fatigue started to fade away I thought things were good.  At the time I had no idea how much had changed over time.  Over the past six months the fever has stayed away and my energy level has continued to increase, so much so that I don’t even recall when the last time was that I felt this good.  Even having the flu last week didn’t bother me. Okay, I mean it wasn’t fun, and it wiped me out at the time, but it was different.  Plus, I knew it would pass in a few days or so.

In addition to my health, I’m so thankful for my family and my friends.  My family and friends are my world.  They shape my life and are there for me to lean on when I’m not feeling strong. I have an incredible support system all of whom I’m very thankful for.

I know it may sound corny to some, but I’m thankful for my pets too.  To me, pets are a little piece of God.  They make me laugh, they snuggle when I’m down or need a hug.  They have definitely challenged me to make me a stronger person.  And at the end of the day, no matter what I’ve said or done, no matter how the rest of the day has gone, they are there for me, giving their unconditional love.

And my dear friends, I’m thankful for all of you, who take a couple of minutes out of your busy days to stop and read my blog.  I appreciate you.  I appreciate your comments.  I read them all and appreciate the feedback.

I hope everyone had a blessed and Happy Thanksgiving.

Kate

November 21, 2011

Was that intentional?

I was just reading an email I got from Land Stewardship Project.  The email was about upcoming Holistic Management Classes.

As I was skimming the email to see if the class is something I would be interested in I ran across this statement, which got me thinking.

“The framework is build upon the idea that the success of all human goals is tied to the health of the ecosystem processes that support life on this planet. In other words, whether you directly manage land or not, Holistic Management can help you achieve your goals in ways that benefit you, your family, your community and the environment.”

What really struck me was the “whether you directly manage land or not”, the key word being “directly”.  Whether we directly do something, in other words, whether we intend to do something or not, it has an impact.   Everyday we’re faced with hundreds, perhaps thousands of decisions and we’re directly doing something or it’s the indirect choice not to, it’s still making a choice, which in turn makes an impact.

This can be applied to so many areas of our lives, but it really drives home the point of intentional living.  Often times we make a decision to do something but forget that the opposite of what we decide (the indirect choice) also makes an impact.  Often times these indirect choices have even more impact that the direct choice.  I’ll throw a big example out there.  Some people may make the direct choice to by conventional produce, the indirect choice is not to buy organic produce.  They may make this indirect choice without even being aware that it was a choice at all.  Maybe buying conventional is all they know.  Maybe they didn’t realize that they even had the choice to buy organic tomatoes, for example, because they are in a different corner of the store that don’t typically shop in.  Or, maybe they made the choice to buy conventional tomatoes because they were less expensive than their organic counterpart.  This choice, this purchase, has impacts in many ways that they might not have even thought about.  They may not even realize that the tomatoes they are eating or feeding their family were grown from genetically modified organisms (GMOs), in other words, altered genetic make-up.  They may not have realized that the tomatoes were sprayed with pesticides, herbicides and fungicides to keep insects and diseases away from them so the farmer could get a better yield but that those “cides” stay on the produce, are absorbed by the plant that feeds the produce and stay in the soil for years to come.  They may not have realized that the tomatoes were picked green and transported halfway across the country and were “ripened” during shipping by using ethylene gas applications. They also may not realize that by choosing conventional produce they are choosing to support conventional practices, many of which have gotten the soil and environment in the situation we’re in today.

The indirect choice, not to buy organic produce, also means indirectly choosing not to support organic or local growers who are making a conscious decision to grow their crops using sustainable methods, not using chemical fertilizers, pesticides, herbicides and fungicides, but instead using crop rotations and other methods to preserve and add nutrients to the soil.  In other words, making an indirect choice to support what is harming the planet and an indirect choice to not support making it a better place.

You might be thinking, “Come on!  They were just buying tomatoes!”  but that is exactly the point.  We all need to be aware of the impact of our choices, whether direct or indirect, intentional or unintentional.  I’m not saying to change everything you’re doing today or run out and buy only organic food.  And I’m not saying to make yourself crazy when shopping at the grocery store or any other place.  What I’m saying is that we all just need to be aware, be mindful and make intentional choices.

Kate

November 16, 2011

Green Gift Fair & Craft Fair – Coming soon!

The other day I sent a list of local, eco-friendly gift ideas for Christmas.  I also mentioned that local craft shows/fairs are a great place to find gifts.

I’m super excited to pass along a couple of great craft fairs that are coming up.  This is not where you’ll find the stuff your grandma used to make, but it is where you’ll find ultra cool, unique, one of a kind gifts!

The 6th Annual Green Gifts Fair.
Saturday, November 19, 2011 • 10 a.m. – 5 p.m.

Midtown Global Market in Minneapolis

Lake St. & Chicago. Ave. • FREE Event

 

 

 

 

No Coast Craft-o-Rama

Friday, December 2 (3 p.m. to 8 p.m.)

Saturday, December 3 (9 a.m. to 5 p.m.)

Midtown Global Market in Minneapolis

 

See you there!

Kate